I'm so grateful...

For so many things this year. Mostly, for having gastric bypass surgery! It's been an amazing five months since surgery, almost every day I'm learning something new about myself, my body, or just the changes I'm going through.

Right now I am sitting here, comfortably...at the computer...in size 14 jeans! Yep, size 14! Just five months ago I was about 66 lbs. heavier, very uncomfortable in my own skin, and very uncomfortable in size 22 (tight) jeans. A year ago I was almost 80 lbs. heavier. I pretty much hated my body (ok, hate is a strong word, but you know what I mean). I was sick of trying to lose weight over and over and over, and always being a failure. The "tool" of surgery has been a God-send, and I couldn't have lost weight without it.

I have learned lately though, that old habits don't just die, and I do need to be aware of what I'm doing. We haven't had a lot of sweets or goodies around, even for the holidays, because whatever mom doesn't cook, crave, or buy, doesn't just appear in the house. But I did get two bags of candy for the kids' stockings, and ended up just putting it in a bowl on the kitchen table instead. Guess who keeps picking at it?? Yep, me. Hershey's candy cane kisses and Reese's peanut butter cups. I have to be aware of what I'm doing, and not just keep popping them in my mouth. I guess I'm doing ok, because I haven't eaten enough of them to make myself dump or have any problems, but still...I don't need to have any of them. I'll be glad when they're gone.

And last night Doug and I went to the Chinese buffet in town for dinner. Ha. Me at a buffet these days! I guess I figure I've stuffed myself many, many times over the years and gotten my money's worth, so now they can make a little money off me. I did put a lot of protein (chicken, shrimp and squid) on my plate and surprisingly ate more than I thought I would, but did stop way before having any problems and had them take the plate. I did ok. But I wanted to eat a lot more. And if I didn't have this "tool" of a tiny stomach pouch, I would have. I have to listen to my body these days and pretty much obey what it tells me to do, rather than before where I'd tell it "come on, you can hold a little more" and cram more in.

I have so many clothes to wear now it's not even funny. I do have a new addiction...clothes shopping! Thankfully I love shopping at Goodwill and Salvation Army, where I can get amazing clothes for sometimes as low as a dollar! I got a couple cute sweaters at after-Christmas sales too. I'm finding that I love wearing sweaters, where before I don't think I've worn a sweater for decades (too hot).

I think my hair is finally slowing down on the shedding. I'm not getting as much in the drain these days, probably 'cause there isn't that much left to lose! It's not looking too awful bad, but it takes a little creative hair styling to cover the very thin part at the top. Oh well, could be worse, and it's supposed to grow back in.

All in all it's been a good year. We're all healthy, still have jobs and a roof over our heads, vehicles to drive and enough wood to keep us warm all winter. And a snuggly, lovable dog (ok, her shedding drives me nuts!) to warm our hearts.

Here's hoping 2009 is a great year for everyone!

Happy Birthday to....ME!

It's my birthday (wow, 48 already!), and for once, I don't mind having pictures taken! Finally. I had Wes take a few pics of me this morning (so now some people can quit bugging me to post new pictures!!). He was standing on a chair, so it's sort of a weird view, kind of like my legs are really short or something. I also have on two shirts, because I'm cold often these days. Of course being in the middle of a Minnesota winter doesn't help.

I did a comparison picture (before surgery and now). Yuck...I don't even like to look at the old pictures.

I've lost about 63 lbs. now, actually if you count from a year ago, 76 lbs.! Amazing. I can feel such a difference. I'm planning to get my treadmill fixed over the Christmas break because I really feel like using it, which alone is something weird. I WANT to use it! I have an URGE to use it.

My Sister Keeps Staring at Me!!

From the mirror! I can't believe how often I'll glance in the mirror these days and see...Paula! It's weird. Doug even says the same thing, and sometimes the kids will too. It'll be fun the next time we get together, which who knows when that'll be cause they live in Wisconsin.

Last night he gave me a hug before bed and said "you're getting so little!" I feel so little too, this is taking a lot of getting used to, but it's fun.

I ordered some jeans last week because it was a really good deal to order them online rather than go to the store. They came Friday so I took them to Bemidji with me and Taylor (college visit). I tried them on Saturday morning, and told Taylor "Look, they fit me like an ass glove!" LOL. They did fit really nice. Makes me sorta sad, cause they are from Lane Bryant, where I've shopped for years, but they're the smallest size they carry (14/16). So that means within a few months I'll be on a search for another jean maker who makes nice ass gloves. : )

Meanwhile, it's almost time to clean out the closet again!

Tricky, tricky scale!

I had to laugh, no way around it.

This morning I got on th scale and it said 199.8!! WHAT?? I'm in Onederland?? OMGosh, I gotta show this to the Queen!

So I wrapped a towel around myself and went and grabbed my cell phone to snap a picture. Got the camera ready, jumped back on the scale, and it said....

200.6!! LOL, what?? I gained weight walking to the kitchen and back?!

Did it again. And again. And again. Always 200.6.

WTF?

It was funny. Just another example of how stupid little numbers can mess with our head.

Oh well, I know I'm close anyway. But wow, what a rush...I haven't been under 200 in probably over 25 years. This is fun!

Yesterday I was sorta bummed, but in a good way I guess. I went to put on a pair of dress pants, ones I had been saving for work...and they almost fell off me. No way could I wear them, so one more item of clothing I never even got to wear. I guess that's good, but I really liked them and was bummed that then I had to choose something else to wear. Almost time to go shopping for new pants again. I think the ones I had yesterday will be too big for Bri too, so they'll go into the bags of clothes I'm saving for a specific future surgery friend. : ) She's gonna have such a nice wardrobe to shrink into!

Going away to Bemidji tonight with Taylor, we're doing a college tour tomorrow. Tonight we'll stay in a hotel with a pool and hot tub...yee ha! I get to wear a swimming suit that I bought a few years ago and never fit into, so that'll be fun. I love swimming, and a hot tub will feel soooo good. It would be cool if they had a big window by the hot tub, and it was snowing gently, and no one else was around, and I had a glass of wine! LOL, I can dream, can't I??