I'm so grateful...

For so many things this year. Mostly, for having gastric bypass surgery! It's been an amazing five months since surgery, almost every day I'm learning something new about myself, my body, or just the changes I'm going through.

Right now I am sitting here, comfortably...at the computer...in size 14 jeans! Yep, size 14! Just five months ago I was about 66 lbs. heavier, very uncomfortable in my own skin, and very uncomfortable in size 22 (tight) jeans. A year ago I was almost 80 lbs. heavier. I pretty much hated my body (ok, hate is a strong word, but you know what I mean). I was sick of trying to lose weight over and over and over, and always being a failure. The "tool" of surgery has been a God-send, and I couldn't have lost weight without it.

I have learned lately though, that old habits don't just die, and I do need to be aware of what I'm doing. We haven't had a lot of sweets or goodies around, even for the holidays, because whatever mom doesn't cook, crave, or buy, doesn't just appear in the house. But I did get two bags of candy for the kids' stockings, and ended up just putting it in a bowl on the kitchen table instead. Guess who keeps picking at it?? Yep, me. Hershey's candy cane kisses and Reese's peanut butter cups. I have to be aware of what I'm doing, and not just keep popping them in my mouth. I guess I'm doing ok, because I haven't eaten enough of them to make myself dump or have any problems, but still...I don't need to have any of them. I'll be glad when they're gone.

And last night Doug and I went to the Chinese buffet in town for dinner. Ha. Me at a buffet these days! I guess I figure I've stuffed myself many, many times over the years and gotten my money's worth, so now they can make a little money off me. I did put a lot of protein (chicken, shrimp and squid) on my plate and surprisingly ate more than I thought I would, but did stop way before having any problems and had them take the plate. I did ok. But I wanted to eat a lot more. And if I didn't have this "tool" of a tiny stomach pouch, I would have. I have to listen to my body these days and pretty much obey what it tells me to do, rather than before where I'd tell it "come on, you can hold a little more" and cram more in.

I have so many clothes to wear now it's not even funny. I do have a new addiction...clothes shopping! Thankfully I love shopping at Goodwill and Salvation Army, where I can get amazing clothes for sometimes as low as a dollar! I got a couple cute sweaters at after-Christmas sales too. I'm finding that I love wearing sweaters, where before I don't think I've worn a sweater for decades (too hot).

I think my hair is finally slowing down on the shedding. I'm not getting as much in the drain these days, probably 'cause there isn't that much left to lose! It's not looking too awful bad, but it takes a little creative hair styling to cover the very thin part at the top. Oh well, could be worse, and it's supposed to grow back in.

All in all it's been a good year. We're all healthy, still have jobs and a roof over our heads, vehicles to drive and enough wood to keep us warm all winter. And a snuggly, lovable dog (ok, her shedding drives me nuts!) to warm our hearts.

Here's hoping 2009 is a great year for everyone!