The Good, The Bad...and The Ugly.

The Good: I discovered I can eat Hershey's Dark Chocolate Kisses with no problems!

The Bad: I discovered I can eat Hershey's Dark Chocolate Kisses with no problems! Yep, the ol' double edged sword. There were these kisses sitting around at work from a staff party, and I love dark chocolate, so I grabbed a handful to put at my desk, intending to just eat them sparingly, thinking they'd cause me problems if I ate more than one or two. Well, I shoulda known myself, cause if it's in front of me, I want to eat it! I probably had about 10 of them yesterday throughout the day, with no problems. But that IS the problem...I don't need them and should continue to avoid stupid crap like that.

The Ugly: Or maybe I should say "The Stupid!" Last night I had some Haagen Dazs coffee ice cream, some of their "Five" brand (called that cause it only has five ingredients). I didn't eat much, cause I know that ice cream can cause problems, but man oh man, cause problems it did! I probably only had about 1/3 of a cup, and about 10 minutes later I had to grab an old ice cream bucket cause I thought I was gonna throw up. I didn't, but my stomach hurt SO bad for a good 45 minutes. I finally went to bed, thinking that laying down and going to sleep would just get rid of the pain, and it did.

What's it gonna take for me to learn??? I don't know.

But I think last night may have just done it. : )

Curiosity

So today I needed to clean out the closet again and see what I have for summer, if it ever gets here (bag number SEVEN for the Queen now!), and ran across a pair of my old "fat" jeans. I took them out to show Tate, and I said, "hmm...I wonder if I could fit both legs into one pants leg?" These were the pants I had on the day of surgery, last August, almost 9 months ago (my 9-month checkup is May 4). And at one point I'm sure I wore pants at least a size bigger.

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it provided us with some good laughs! I came out of the bedroom, barely able to walk 'cause my feet could only move a few inches at a time. Sorta like a little Chinese lady who takes tiny, tiny steps.

But look!!

Ok, and to be fair, they ARE stretch jeans and I WAS squeezed into them and stretching them as far as they'd go...but still!!

I can now say I've lost 100 lbs.! I still shake my head in disbelief when I think about it.

I was telling the Queen the other day, cause she's SO excited to have the FS in just a few short weeks, that...as good as you think it's gonna feel to be rid of all the weight...it actually feels a million times better!

The wind in my hair...the Harley in my dreams...

I DID get to feel the wind in my hair today!

I took a bike ride around the block (actually a bit more than that) after getting home from work. I had planned this morning to go walking/running with Carol after school, but she wants to concentrate on running a lot this week and next to WIN the Biggest Loser contest at school (which she's gonna do!), and I wasn't in the mood for running, plus I had some parenting that needed done after school, so I came home instead. I had walked the block yesterday and have been itching to get on the bike, so that's what I chose to do today.


It was a nice workout for my legs and felt good. It was a tad bit chilly out, but not too bad. I love riding bike, I get a sense of freedom when I ride. Not quite like on a Harley, but....it'll do for now.

Some of my fondest memories are riding bike in the summer at night when I was in my very late teens and early twenties. Like around 10-11 pm late, in the cool night air riding through what was then a smallish college town. The town had gone to bed (well, ok except for the college kids!), the streets were nearly empty, and it was peaceful enough to hear the frogs and crickets. It was heaven.

Someday I'd love to do the MS 150 bike ride. Maybe next year. I'm pretty sure it's too late for this year, I think it's usually in May. But...if I start working on it now and over the summer, maybe, just maybe, I could do it next year.

Before I turn 50! Yikes, now there's a scary thought! I had wanted to do it for my 40th birthday, but was too fat and out of shape to even really dream much of doing it.

Things are MUCH different now. This nearly-50-year-old could do it I'm sure.

And she just might. : )

Wheeeeeeeeee.................I mean Wii!

I had THE most excellent day yesterday. Seriously, THE most excellent.

Got up, had my morning quiet time to myself with a cup of coffee and a book (love weekend mornings). After Doug got up we went to Perkins for breakfast (had a 20% off coupon), then Menards to get a few things, like a new mailbox cause ours has been "taken out" three times since last summer, and won't stay closed anymore, which presents it's own problems.

Then....we stopped at the Harley dealership! (BIG grin!)

Oh man....how we want one. I suggested we stop and get the 'ol law of attraction juices flowing by touching, hearing and sitting on one (or more), so we did. I had no idea how big that place was, the basement of the store has hundreds and hundreds of bikes down there (the used ones we went to ogle). We fell in love with the bikes. Of course the salesman, Jim, asked if we were interested in one or two, and had me sit alone on several that he said I could handle. Ha. I'm not interested in driving one, I just like to sit back and enjoy the scenery without worrying about traffic headaches. But it was fun to straddle the bike, turn the wheel on it and VISUALIZE and FEEL the power and wind in my hair. And when he started one up...oh, the sound I love!

And you should have seen Doug's eyes! Talk about a buzz! I kept looking over at him, and I swear he had a Harley High, LOL. His eyes were wide and huge and he almost seemed to be glowing. Of course the prices were a Harley High too, around fifteen grand or more or what we'd like, so we'll keep looking and dreaming and seeing ourselves riding one. Somehow it'll happen, I know it will.

We were talking last night during our Saturday night "tub time," and I recalled giving away a Harley many years ago when Cal died. I gave his best friend his old Sportster, which was worth some good money, but I've never regretted giving it to him and I'd do it again today. They were best friends their whole life, and I told Tom he could have it, of course he drove up from Michigan within days to get it, probably before I could change my mind. I know he's cherished it all these years, and that gives me a good feeling. But now I want another one!!

Ok, so after we left the Harley dealer, Doug went home, I went shopping (the Queen laughs at how often I say I'm going shopping these days). Fashion Bug was having a deal on the dress pants I wear to work, usually $26.99 but from 10am-2pm they were $14.99, so I got another pair a size smaller, which acually fit me now. Cool. Found a penny on the floor of the changing room too. Of course I picked it up, more money in my pocket. : )

So then I traveled on to Target in Otsego, found a great pair of grey pants (hey, I don't have any grey!) on clearance for six bucks! Found another penny in the dressing room too! Then I went over to look at Wii systems. The nice older guy in electronics helped me and told me what all I needed. This other lady was there getting the Wii Fit board, she said she was surprised they had any, I guess they're hard to find in stock. I asked her how she liked her Wii and she loved it. The sales guy said he had 14 boards come in that morning, and only had 6 left at that point, so I got one of those with the system.

He asked me if I had a 10% off coupon that people had been getting in the mail, and I said no, dang it, cause that would be a good chunk of money. Well, sweet man, he gave me 10% off anyway! What a guy!

Finished checking out of Target, and they have a Starbucks in the store. I took that broken gift card that I found in the ditch a while ago over and asked if they'd replace it, and she did, gave me a beautiful new card in a nice little fancy envelope and I got a delicious tea to enjoy on the way home, compliments of the Queen.

Came home, a gorgeous spring day to be out driving the country roads (though it would have been even more enjoyable on that new Harley!). Alex and Bri were here, so Alex put the Wii together for me while I sat there and enjoyed a Chocolate Steamed Nirvana that Bri had brought me from Dunn Bros. Man....does it get any better than that? : ) I didn't have any of the frustrations of putting it all together.

Got the Wii set up and Bri and Alex boxed each other. Funny! Then I boxed Bri. I can see this being fun. Then a little while later I went down and got the Fit board going, it's pretty cool. Heck, that little board is smart! It tells you how much you weigh too. There are some pretty cool balance games that are a lot harder than you'd think. I tried the yoga and the skiing game, what fun. Maybe, just maybe, if my balance improves, I can try roller blading (for real, not on the Wii), which I was thinking about today (how much fun it looks).

Ok, then a little while later it was dinner and tub time. ; ) Usually on Saturday nights Doug and I enjoy a whirlpool bubble bath together (sorry kids that that grosses you out, but grow up!) with a bottle or two of wine and candlelight. It's become treasured time, we sit in the tub for a couple hours (it has a heater to keep the water nice and toasty warm), enjoy our wine, sometimes a little chocolate, and talk, talk, talk. We talk about anything and everything, it's really nice and after 21 years of marriage, I think we're even learning a few things about each other too!

So yes, it was THE most excellent day. THE most excellent.

Awww....my little boy

Can pick me up!!

LOL, we were just messing around, actually he's been able to do it for a long time now, we just finally got around to snapping a picture. I don't think he looks like he's straining too hard. : )

On another note...I couldn't find the piece of paper with old measurements on it, but oh well.

Earlier this week I went shopping (surprise, surprise!) cause I had a $10 off coupon at Christopher & Banks. Carol and I had gone there a few weeks ago and they do have some cute stuff, though they also have a lot of "teachery" or old-lady styles too, part of the reason I never really shopped there before. But that day I found THE cutest Christmas sweater, on clearance of course. Marked down from $45 to $5. Seriously, it's very cute. No, it doesn't have reindeer, santa or snowmen, it sorta reminds me of Dr. Suess's who-ville. Made me wish it was December now so I could wear it. I asked Carol how soon I could wear it, she said not till December 1st, so I marked it on my calendar on December 1st to wear my Christmas sweater so I don't forget about it! How crazy is that?!

Anyway, on Monday I found a really cute top there for $14.95, so it only cost me about five bucks after the coupon. I get most of my clothes these days extremely cheap that way. And believe me, I have a ton of clothes now. But while I was there I also spotted some really nice jeans, and took a pair of 12s and a pair of 10s into the changing room, just for kicks. I started with the 10s....and they fit! OMGosh! I didn't buy them, cause they had that awful gap in the back that I hate, but they fit otherwise. I seriously don't EVER remember wearing size 10s, ever in my life.

WOW moment!

I had a pretty cool "wow" moment the other day at work. We have this area where we store tv carts, and books. Usually there are not that many tv carts there, so it's pretty easy to just walk back and grab the books kids need for their class.

Well, this particular day we had a lot of tvs returned, and a kid needed a certain book, which of course was at the very back of this little newly formed "hallway."

I headed back there, and stopped and just looked at the situation, and sorta froze for a second. Then I thought, "ok, I think I can fit in there," and I did! Effortlessly! It was amazing, there was actually a lot of room for me to get the book and back. Before surgery I would have had to move out a bunch of carts to get back there.

Then I had another cool revelation...I was thinking, and I sorta wish I had taken measurements before surgery (I'll have to look, I might have some in a little stash area), cause I would bet that I'm about as wide now, hip to hip, as I was front to back before.

I'm gonna go look for that piece of paper, though I might have thrown it out in frustration a long time ago....

A little fun!

Ok, so I really have nothing to say today, just wanted to post some fun pictures! Wes had shown me these settings on the Photo Booth program I have at work, so I've been having a wee bit of fun!

Wow. Weird. Very weird.

Come on...we all know a woman who actually looks like this!

Simmer.....simmer (shoulda worn the Munger for this one!)

Love the hair! (just kidding)

Mirror image. Again...nice hairdo!

Wonder if I could really DO my hair like that, LOL.

Motivational speaker??

Found some new settings on my computer! : )

Yesterday was a weird day...I talked to two different people about gastric bypass surgery, one who approached me about the topic is someone I never would have guessed would have been interested, let alone actually come up to me to ask about having it. He's someone I don't know very well but see often at work. The other was another lady at work who's friend is considering the surgery, and I gave her my phone and email for her friend (cause I'm willing to talk to anyone about it and answer any questions I can), and suggested the site http://www.obesityhelp.com/ - a fantastic website with all kinds of info on all the different surgeries, what to expect, how they work, etc. and very interesting forums where you can learn so much more and interact with others considering surgery or who have already been through it.

Anyway, I had some shopping to do after school, and as I was leaving the store I recalled an incident a few years back. I was at a friend's house, and another friend was there, and we were talking...and I said that I've always had this "feeling" that I was supposed to be or would become a motivational speaker. Weird, huh?? Anyway, one of the friends just busted a gut at that one, like "yeah, sure...what EVER! You??" It's just one of those feelings, like you know something is supposed to happen to you, but you're not sure how, why, or if it ever will...or if you're just plain nuts.

Well, yesterday as I was walking out of the store, it kind of hit me...I HAVE become a motivational speaker! No, I'm not on a big stage raking in the money telling people how to become millionaires or whatnot, but I AM telling anyone who is interested about the surgery and how my life has changed because of it, and what it can do for them. It's life changing to say the least. One thing the guy at work said to me was "Don't take this wrong, but before you always looked...."uncomfortable" with yourself, and now it's like you're a whole new person."

That's cause I am. I ditched the 100-lb. person who was riding on my back. Good riddance. (Or as Briana wrote to me in a note when she was little...Good Rits!)

Simmer....simmer....!

Do you remember the Saturday morning cartoon "Mrs. Munger's Class?" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmHEbOC16X4

Well, I walked into the school office to see my friend Carol the other day, wearing this blazer, which I really like...and she burst into hysterical laughter! Seriously. Hysterical!

I was a bit puzzled. : )

She said it looked like an "old librarian Mrs. Munger sort of print."

Well then. Hmmmpf. I happened to like it. A lot. It's got this cute ruffly effect on the bottom part and is fitted really nicely. Just happens to BE an old librarian print I guess.

But, as I was walking out, another person walked past me and said I looked "beautiful!" I turned and told Carol that I was gonna listen to Lori instead. : )

I put it on to show my girls yesterday, and they were puzzled at Carol's response too, they both liked it (or so they said!).

So I guess whenever I wear it I'll have to run over to Carol and tell her to "Simmer...simmer!"

But we're still friends. ; ) We went for a nice walk on Monday (same day) in her favorite park, and took another teacher and her dog. I must be warming up to dogs or something, cause then I took our dog, Willa, for a walk around our block yesterday. That dog can go! My thumb is actually a little numb still from where the leash cut off my circulation. It was another nice day out though, and felt good to go for a walk.

I think it's sorta funny, yesterday I went into the grocery store to take in some dry cleaning, and when I went to the counter the one lady, who I sorta know through kids, asked me directly what I was doing to lose so much weight. I'm pretty open about it and tell anyone who asks that I have had surgery, and I usually get the same response "so how's that going for you?" It seems most people really only hear the horror stories, so I'm happy to tell them that it couldn't be better.

I think my body may have found it's regular weight though, cause the losing has slowed down to almost a halt, which is fine with me. I'm still a bit above the "ideal" chart weight, but I don't care. I'm happy right where I'm at, but I bet once summer comes and I can get out and ride bike and such that I might lose some more. But I don't want to drop so much that then it's a struggle to stay there and not gain a little back. I've had too many years of struggling with it, and if this is where I'm gonna be, then that's fine. I'm actually down 94 lbs. from where I originally started with my first visit to the surgeon.

Still amazes me.

Cold, caramel apples and chocolate!

Isn't that pretty?!

Alex and his modeling talent!!

I'd LOVE to taste these, I bet they were delicious.

So I took a little road trip with Bri and Alex this week up to my sister's in Ashland, Wisconsin. We went through Duluth on Monday, and stopped to wander around the shops in Canal Park. One place we went into was this Chocolate Factory where they had beautiful "caramel" apples. But they weren't just caramel, they had amazing concoctions of whatever you would want on an apple. They looked SO good, but at $5.50 each, I didn't buy one, cause I know I couldn't finish it anyway.

Yesterday we walked out on frozen Lake Superior to see some of the ice caves at the Apostle Islands. I had kayaked out there a few years ago with Paula, and it's really cool. Seeing it all frozen was pretty neat too. She said it was about 2 1/2 miles one way, so we had a good 5-mile walk across the ice, sometimes a bit slippery (no, I hadn't taken my Yak Trax with me...idiot!). We all fell at least once, but no injuries. I've never walked on a frozen lake before, it sorta scares me, even though people drive big huge trucks out there. Guess that comes from growing up in Ohio where lakes don't freeze like that. It still amazes me, after living in Minnesota for 24 years, that people drive out onto the frozen lakes.

Anyway, we had a good walk, my legs were tired, then we stopped in a little town and had lunch. I had chili and 1/2 a grilled cheese sandwich, a little protein.

Paula is such a great cook, it sorta inspires me to actually take some time and make some decent meals. But that all takes time planning too, and shopping each week off of a list. Not what I'm used to. But I'll think about it at least. You never know...I could certainly use some inspiration and new meal options.

Going home tomorrow, still have a few days of spring break then back to the grind. It's been a nice break!

I've even hugged a puppy! : ) They have an adorable little dog named Jake, who is just the cutest. Bri's been amazed cause I don't much pet Willa at home, but Jake has captured my heart. He's little, and soft, and all one color! Even his brown eyes match his brown fur, which does NOT fly all over the place like Willa's. I'd take him home with me if I could!

Girl Scout Cookies...and a nap!

So...yesterday I got the Girl Scout cookies I had ordered from a lady at school. Two boxes of Thin Mints, one lemon, one peanut butter. I knew not to open them. I knew if I opened them, there would be no stopping me (or at least that's how it's always been before). So I didn't.

Wes did.

We get home and he opened the Thin Mints. Mmmmm...heaven in a cookie. I had one. Ok, then another and another. I am pretty sure I ate four of them, then stopped myself.

Then he opened the lemon cookies, and I had one of those. So, a total of five cookies, and we all know how small they are, right?! : )

Then...I needed a nap. Yep, sugar does that to me. I get a little nauseous, not too bad, but icky enough that I don't do this often, then I need a nap. And I don't mean a quick 10 minutes, I slept for at least an hour. My body must need all it's energy to process the sugar and get it out of my system, so it just shuts down. Entirely. Good thing I didn't eat them at work.

Speaking of work, yesterday was the blood drive, and I went and gave blood. I've never seen my veins stick out like that before, probably cause they were always encased in so much fat! It was a nice diversion from work, and hey, I actually get paid to give blood cause it's on company time! I looked up how much a pint of blood weighs, cause I was jokingly wondering if the scale might finally move a little bit today. It weighs about a pound, and yep, the scale did move a little bit today. Like that matters (the blood loss!). I drank a ton of water and tea yesterday too.

The good/bad thing about yesterday was that we got a big snow storm and school was released 2 hours early. So actually, I got paid for about 3 hours yesterday that I didn't even work! Bad thing was that then yoga was cancelled cause the roads were so crappy. So what did I do in place of yoga?

Ate cookies and napped.

Duh.

Fashion is fun!

I'd forgotten, over the "fat years," just how much fun it can be to play with fashion!


Most likely that's because fat people don't have much access to nice clothes. What we can fit into, well....sucks. Crappy material, high prices for "cheap" clothes, and patterns that scream "Hey, look at me...I'm fat!" Like seriously, what large person wants to be in clothing that looks more like it should be carpeting in a low-class casino. Yet, sadly, that's what is available. And really, when you can find something cute, it still doesn't look good.

Things are different for me now, thankfully. I still pretty much dress the same style for work...dress pants, a blouse and blazer (or sweaters), but the cut and fit is so much better. I have a lot of fun getting dressed in the morning now, and deciding what accessories and jewels I get to wear. I've picked up a lot of clothes this winter, and, one good thing about the economy, it's been fairly cheap to do! There are sales galore out there!

And shoes!! Oh my gosh. For years I've been wearing clod hoppers (just what IS a clod hopper, by the way?!). Well, no more! We had Monday off school, and Tate and I went shopping at the DSW shoe store. I had a $10 off coupon and had never been in there. I wasn't expecting much, cause I just haven't been in cute shoes for years.

It was my lucky day! I ended up getting THREE pair of nice, cute, dressy shoes for $52.00. All on clearance, up to 70% off. The original prices would have rung up to $168.00! Tate even lucked out there and got some cute pumps on sale. We had a blast trying on heels and boots and prancing around in them (Ok, I pranced!!).

I put on this one pair of really high heels, and was walking around, and said "I feel like doing a Pee Wee Herman dance" and sang the little song he did in one of his movies, along with the dance he did. The lady in the same aisle started laughing and said "I was trying not to listen, but had to laugh, cause you did that just right!"

So, no more clod hoppers for me! By the way, dictionary.com says a clod hopper is: 1. a clumsy boor; rustic; bumpkin. 2. clodhoppers, strong, heavy shoes.

Ha. No more clumsy, boorish, bumpkin shoes!

: )

Dang it!

I woke up this morning, rolled out of bed, and as soon as my feet hit the floor it was back....my old familiar foot pain! Dang it. BOTH feet hurt, like at the bottom of my arches, near my heels.

It's not too horribly awful, but it's probably from running. That's the only thing I've done differently really. My feet haven't hurt for several years now, but there was a time it was really bad and I didn't want to walk at ALL. I don't want to go back to that.

So I guess maybe I'll baby them for a while until they feel better, and then who knows, I might try running again (I do wear orthotic supports in all my shoes) and see what happens.

Today's yoga day though, and I do look forward to that now, but I need some aerobic exercise (DO NOT suggest actual aerobics...I am NOT coordinated enough to do that, I look like a spastic chicken!).

Ahhhhh....Teradactyl Alert!

Nah, not really.

But I did take a walk/jog around the block again today. That was after work and some quick shopping. I didn't head out the door till almost 4:30.

It was grey out, not very appealing for a walk, and with all the melting going on the past few days, walking on what was a nice snow packed trail was more like trudging through mashed potatoes today. But it was 38 degrees, so not too bad. I probably ran about as much as I did the other day, and my legs are very sore right now.

I'll take tomorrow off and then do yoga on Thursday. Carol and I decided that Mondays will be our day to walk/jog together. If it's nice we can go outside, if it's crappy, we can go to the Monti Community Center and use their track for free. I like free. : )

You know...I've been on this path before. Many, many times. I'll start to exercise, thinking "this time I'll keep with it and lose some weight, blah blah blah."

But this time I can! This time it's different, thanks to surgery. This time I know I'm gonna make it, cause really, I'm pretty much already there.

This time is my time!

I think....I might...

Become a jogger!!

Huh?

Yep, yesterday I decided I DID want some Yak Trax http://yaktrax.com/ (I like their logo - "Make Your Own Trail") and, impatient me, drove to St. Cloud and got some (the thing I hate about ordering online is the waiting!). I looked at a couple different kinds - the ones Carol has with little spikes, and the Yak Trax, and went for the Yaks. Today I tried them out, and they work great!

I had been working on tax crap, and needed a break, so I decided to go for a walk. It was partly sunny and fairly nice out (about 34 degrees). I knew a walk would make me a little less crabby.

I decided to go around the block, and told Doug I didn't know how far I'd go, cause it's 2.25 miles to do the whole block, and I'm really not used to that, cause I've been lazy. It took me about 35 minutes, and I probably jogged over 1/3 of the way, off and on. I'd see a landmark or sign ahead and decide to jog to it. Sorta reminded me of a childhood memory when I would stay with the Hoot girls in Toledo. We'd walk around their city block, and usually it was Sue and I who would leave Jenna behind. She'd be crying that we were leaving her, so we'd stop and say to each other, "Ok, we'll let her get to this crack, then run!" Yep, it was mean, but that's what we did. No wonder my nickname in high school was Dragon Lady. : )

Ah, but anyway, it was a nice walk/jog. The snowmobile trails are packed snow, so I was on them a lot. I saw some cool footprints in the snow from deer and birds. One set, had I not known that teradactyls are extinct, woulda made me look over my shoulder! Probably from wild turkeys or something, but man, they were big!

My legs are still a little sore from the other day, but I'm sure it did them good to move some more today. We'll see what they feel like tomorrow.

Oh, and BONUS day for me...I was almost home, just the other side of the neighbor's house, and saw an envelope in the ditch (as opposed to a mattress, but that's another story!). It was addressed to ME! There had been at least one snowy, blowy day when our mail had gotten scattered, and once it's under a layer of snow, who knows when or if you'll ever find it. Anyway, it was a Starbucks gift card that the Queen had sent to me a while ago. How sweet is that?!

So, it was a good day. Except I didn't get taxes done, but....ugh. I worked on ME instead. : )

Six Months!

I had my six-month checkup earlier this week (surgery was August '08). Had I known they were gonna take a picture of me, I wouldn't have been wearing TWO sweaters! Anyway, here's a comparison from my very first appointment in November 2007 to now, 79 lbs. lighter. Wow, 79 lbs. Of course my scale is "off" compared to theirs, but whatever. It's all good.

Quite a difference!

Everything is going great, I'm taking my vitamins/calcium, not having any problems with dumping or clogging, etc. I'm learning what I can and can't eat, it's all trial and error.

The only "issue" is exercise. Sigh. But, hopefully with spring coming that'll change when I can get outside more. I'm looking forward to bike riding for one thing. I have been doing yoga for a couple weeks now, and like it a lot. Yesterday I could really feel the stretch and my legs were a little sore afterward.

And today....today I went jogging...outside!! Carol asked me this afternoon if I wanted to go with her to her favorite park and do a walk/run. I was tired, and wanted to sorta just go home and take a nap (someone at McDonald's called us at 2:45 a.m. to say they found a cell phone there and were tracking down the owner - it was Tate's - and then we couldn't get back to sleep). But I also wanted to go outside and get some exercise, cause it hit 40 degrees today, and that's a major heat wave here.

So, since I needed new tennies anyway, we stopped at Walmart, I got new shoes, and we went to the park. It was FUN! The paved trail was still partially icy and snowy, but there were some big areas of dry pavement, and I actually jogged off and on for quite a bit. For someone who never runs, or heck, even goes walking, it was quite an accomplishment. Fresh air, movement, and good conversation. I think I like it!

So now I'm looking online at Yak Trax, the nifty little things Carol had on her shoes to prevent slipping on ice, cause I did slip a few times but didn't fall. I think I want some! Cause I think I want to do this again. : ) And with still most of February and snowy March, I might get some use out of them. I'll see.

I know tomorrow's gonna hurt though, I can feel it in my legs now.

But my new shoes sure are cute! : )

Hello world!

Tate was at school yesterday (normally PSEO), so we did a quick Hello! : )

Clothes HORSE!!

Ok, I've been back to work for 28 work days now, and only repeated an outfit once so far (as far as tops, I do only have a few pair of pants that fit)! And that was 'cause I was in a hurry that morning, had tried on several things and nothing was "working" for me that morning, so I just grabbed something. Dang...I really wanted to see how long I could go without repeating! LOL

Got a few more blazers this weekend at Goodwill, they had 50% off all winter sweaters, coats, etc., so for $12.00 I got two very pretty blazers and a sweater. One of the blazers still had tags on it. Love it.

I'm really looking forward to spring this year, I'm tired of being cold all the dang time. Of course it might help if the house was warmer than 49 degrees when we got up this morning! Yikes.

Numbers Game

Ok, got on the scale again this morning, and it said 186.4! Wow, just a few days ago I was hangin' in there at about 191 and the scale wasn't moving. That's how it goes.

It'll stick with one number and waver a pound up or down for a good week or more, then drop several pounds in a matter of days. Weird. I wish my body could talk to me and tell me just WTF it's doing!!

That means that now I'm just 26 lbs. overweight. Heck, I was probably born 26 lbs. overweight. : ) Well, not really, but I don't remember ever being "just" that much overweight. Even in high school, when, looking back at pictures now and I really was fairly thin, I was labeled as fat and felt very fat. Wow, brain games win again.

I do have a distinct memory of one of the first times I realized that I was, what...chubby?? I was pretty young, probably around 10 or 12, and we were going swimming at one of mom's friend's pool. Now there was a woman obsessed with MY weight - my mom. She had trouble snapping my swimming suit (I was a growing child ya know!), and made me go get on the scale. I was 126 lbs. Heck, I didn't know I was chubby, or at least didn't think about it. I just wanted to go swimming!

The worst part of the memory is, while we were swimming, I overheard mom telling her friend how fat I was and exactly how much I weighed. Um, like she had anything to say about being overweight?! Nice memory, huh? It's one of those that's burned into your brain, and will never go away.

So I think this summer when I put on a swimming suit for the first time, I'll probably send a finger gesture skyward. Thanks for the memories, mom. : )

Yo-Ga!

It was fun! I really enjoyed it, and was actually sorta surprised at how fast each movement went, I thought it would be even slower, but it was nice. I could really feel that my body had been stretched. And afterward, even though I was sorta relaxed, I also felt energized. Went and did some errands and then home.

The scale moved another pound since yesterday, and I ate a TON, or so it seemed, yesterday. All good stuff, but a bit more than usual. So anyway, now I'm officially in the 180s (ok, 189, but still!). Just 29 lbs. away from "goal."

Life is good. : )

These pictures from work are my POTD (picture of the day) that I take every day and send to the Queen! There's a webcam on my computer, and that way she can see what clothes she's eventually gonna get from me when SHE has the FS (our term of endearment for "just give me the Fuckin' Surgery") next summer.

Goooood, goooood, goooood....good vi-bra-tions! : )

Things are going so well...my hair has stopped falling out for one thing! I hardly get any in the drain anymore, so I'm thinking it's gonna be growing back in now. I didn't go bald after all. Who knows, I may even let it grow long again. A lot of surgery patients say their hair grows back in very curly, time will tell.

This morning the scale said exactly 190.0! It's been up and down a bit over the last week so I knew that drop was coming. Sometimes "they" (other patients) say you need to eat a little more for your body to actually drop a couple pounds, and I think that might be true. Gotta let the 'ol bod know it's really not starving to death.

That means I've lost 71 lbs. since August, and have thirty pounds to go to hit goal, and I still don't really see where another 30 lbs. is gonna come from. I am not horribly focused on that goal, it's just what the charts say I should weigh, or even a little less. I feel fine where I'm at now. No, I don't feel fine...I feel like a million bucks!

I think a lot of people hear so many horror stories about this surgery, or know people who have had a hard time or wish they hadn't done it, but not me. I guess everything has gone as good as it possibly can for me, from the surgery itself to today. Not one single problem really, and I'm so grateful and happy about it. Yes, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Today's my first YOGA class and I'm excited to try it. It was supposed to start last week, but we had school cancelled two days because of -30 to -45 wind chills, so all other activities get cancelled too. I bought myself a cute shirt and stretchy pants too! Yee ha! Here we go.

I'm also thinking I might like a Wii Fit system, and with Circuit City going under...I just might go shopping real soon!

Why do I do this??

I ate ice cream. Sigh....

I know ice cream makes me feel crappy now. I know it makes my stomach hurt. I know I will feel nauseous...and want to go to sleep. WTF?? Ice cream makes me want to take a nap.

So what do I do? Today we were in town and I said "some good ice cream sounds good" and Doug agreed. So I went into Coborn's and got us each (and one for Wes) a small container of Haagen Daz ice cream, knowing I wouldn't eat much of it anyway. I got him one full of goodies, mine was plain vanilla with honey.

A little while ago I ate a small portion of the carton, which is not a whole lot. Maybe 1/4 cup, if that. Tasted ok, not fantastic, and I told Taylor she could have the rest.

Now I feel yucky. My stomach is feeling nauseous. Thank God it's almost bedtime anyway, cause I wanna go to sleep!! I don't know if it's my stomach working so hard to process the sugar or what, but it makes me sleepy.

Anyway, I must be a slow learner. But then again, this is only about the third time I've tried ice cream (my old poison of choice) since August, so maybe I'm not so slow after all. : )

Running?? Me??

Yep, I started on Monday with Carol's beginner running info, the treadmill seems to be working ok again, so I'm walking 8 minutes, running 2. Doing it twice for now (supposed to be 3 times, but my morning time is limited - I'll get there).

This morning I was getting bored with the walking though. I couldn't wait for the 8 minutes to be up so I could run. Huh?? Me?? So the second set I started running at 7 minutes, ran 2 then walked for about another 2-3 minutes. It felt good.

Tomorrow is my first YOGA class! I'm excited to give it a try, I think I'll really like it. I need to do some toning so I am not like "Jiggly Puff" (an old Pokemon character)!

I'm so grateful...

For so many things this year. Mostly, for having gastric bypass surgery! It's been an amazing five months since surgery, almost every day I'm learning something new about myself, my body, or just the changes I'm going through.

Right now I am sitting here, comfortably...at the computer...in size 14 jeans! Yep, size 14! Just five months ago I was about 66 lbs. heavier, very uncomfortable in my own skin, and very uncomfortable in size 22 (tight) jeans. A year ago I was almost 80 lbs. heavier. I pretty much hated my body (ok, hate is a strong word, but you know what I mean). I was sick of trying to lose weight over and over and over, and always being a failure. The "tool" of surgery has been a God-send, and I couldn't have lost weight without it.

I have learned lately though, that old habits don't just die, and I do need to be aware of what I'm doing. We haven't had a lot of sweets or goodies around, even for the holidays, because whatever mom doesn't cook, crave, or buy, doesn't just appear in the house. But I did get two bags of candy for the kids' stockings, and ended up just putting it in a bowl on the kitchen table instead. Guess who keeps picking at it?? Yep, me. Hershey's candy cane kisses and Reese's peanut butter cups. I have to be aware of what I'm doing, and not just keep popping them in my mouth. I guess I'm doing ok, because I haven't eaten enough of them to make myself dump or have any problems, but still...I don't need to have any of them. I'll be glad when they're gone.

And last night Doug and I went to the Chinese buffet in town for dinner. Ha. Me at a buffet these days! I guess I figure I've stuffed myself many, many times over the years and gotten my money's worth, so now they can make a little money off me. I did put a lot of protein (chicken, shrimp and squid) on my plate and surprisingly ate more than I thought I would, but did stop way before having any problems and had them take the plate. I did ok. But I wanted to eat a lot more. And if I didn't have this "tool" of a tiny stomach pouch, I would have. I have to listen to my body these days and pretty much obey what it tells me to do, rather than before where I'd tell it "come on, you can hold a little more" and cram more in.

I have so many clothes to wear now it's not even funny. I do have a new addiction...clothes shopping! Thankfully I love shopping at Goodwill and Salvation Army, where I can get amazing clothes for sometimes as low as a dollar! I got a couple cute sweaters at after-Christmas sales too. I'm finding that I love wearing sweaters, where before I don't think I've worn a sweater for decades (too hot).

I think my hair is finally slowing down on the shedding. I'm not getting as much in the drain these days, probably 'cause there isn't that much left to lose! It's not looking too awful bad, but it takes a little creative hair styling to cover the very thin part at the top. Oh well, could be worse, and it's supposed to grow back in.

All in all it's been a good year. We're all healthy, still have jobs and a roof over our heads, vehicles to drive and enough wood to keep us warm all winter. And a snuggly, lovable dog (ok, her shedding drives me nuts!) to warm our hearts.

Here's hoping 2009 is a great year for everyone!

Happy Birthday to....ME!

It's my birthday (wow, 48 already!), and for once, I don't mind having pictures taken! Finally. I had Wes take a few pics of me this morning (so now some people can quit bugging me to post new pictures!!). He was standing on a chair, so it's sort of a weird view, kind of like my legs are really short or something. I also have on two shirts, because I'm cold often these days. Of course being in the middle of a Minnesota winter doesn't help.

I did a comparison picture (before surgery and now). Yuck...I don't even like to look at the old pictures.

I've lost about 63 lbs. now, actually if you count from a year ago, 76 lbs.! Amazing. I can feel such a difference. I'm planning to get my treadmill fixed over the Christmas break because I really feel like using it, which alone is something weird. I WANT to use it! I have an URGE to use it.

My Sister Keeps Staring at Me!!

From the mirror! I can't believe how often I'll glance in the mirror these days and see...Paula! It's weird. Doug even says the same thing, and sometimes the kids will too. It'll be fun the next time we get together, which who knows when that'll be cause they live in Wisconsin.

Last night he gave me a hug before bed and said "you're getting so little!" I feel so little too, this is taking a lot of getting used to, but it's fun.

I ordered some jeans last week because it was a really good deal to order them online rather than go to the store. They came Friday so I took them to Bemidji with me and Taylor (college visit). I tried them on Saturday morning, and told Taylor "Look, they fit me like an ass glove!" LOL. They did fit really nice. Makes me sorta sad, cause they are from Lane Bryant, where I've shopped for years, but they're the smallest size they carry (14/16). So that means within a few months I'll be on a search for another jean maker who makes nice ass gloves. : )

Meanwhile, it's almost time to clean out the closet again!

Tricky, tricky scale!

I had to laugh, no way around it.

This morning I got on th scale and it said 199.8!! WHAT?? I'm in Onederland?? OMGosh, I gotta show this to the Queen!

So I wrapped a towel around myself and went and grabbed my cell phone to snap a picture. Got the camera ready, jumped back on the scale, and it said....

200.6!! LOL, what?? I gained weight walking to the kitchen and back?!

Did it again. And again. And again. Always 200.6.

WTF?

It was funny. Just another example of how stupid little numbers can mess with our head.

Oh well, I know I'm close anyway. But wow, what a rush...I haven't been under 200 in probably over 25 years. This is fun!

Yesterday I was sorta bummed, but in a good way I guess. I went to put on a pair of dress pants, ones I had been saving for work...and they almost fell off me. No way could I wear them, so one more item of clothing I never even got to wear. I guess that's good, but I really liked them and was bummed that then I had to choose something else to wear. Almost time to go shopping for new pants again. I think the ones I had yesterday will be too big for Bri too, so they'll go into the bags of clothes I'm saving for a specific future surgery friend. : ) She's gonna have such a nice wardrobe to shrink into!

Going away to Bemidji tonight with Taylor, we're doing a college tour tomorrow. Tonight we'll stay in a hotel with a pool and hot tub...yee ha! I get to wear a swimming suit that I bought a few years ago and never fit into, so that'll be fun. I love swimming, and a hot tub will feel soooo good. It would be cool if they had a big window by the hot tub, and it was snowing gently, and no one else was around, and I had a glass of wine! LOL, I can dream, can't I??

Scary, scary hair!

I ordered a wig last week, and I hope it gets here SOON! : )

The drain in the shower is very scary these days, and last night I had a "dream" (nightmare?!) that I was running my hands through my hair and it just came out in big clumps, sorta like a bird's nest!

I didn't pay much for the wig, so we'll see what kind of quality it'll be (and I can send it back if needed). Hopefully nice enough to get me through a few months, cause I have a feeling I'm gonna really need it. I'm not even through my first month of hair loss, and have two more to go before it starts coming back in! At yesterday's craft show all I kept noticing were the women with very thin hair where you could see their scalp. Ugh. I think I need to focus on having nice, healthy hair. Focus...focus.....

On a better note, I'm less than 5 lbs. away from "onederland." That's amazing! Really amazing.

Revelation...and Half Way!!

I had one of the coolest things happen last night. I've been creating and testing some new "soap" products, and one of them is a bath salt. I mixed some up and gave it to Doug to test, since he's a person who takes baths every day rather than showers. When he was done I thought...I think I'll take a bath too just to see what the salts are like (he didn't notice anything....men!).

So I got my bath going and climbed in the tub. And I FIT!! I used to hate taking baths cause we just have a regular small bathtub, and there never was much room to move around or soak covered in water, cause I was too big. It was so cool to comfortably take a bath. Now I really, really want him to put in the whirlpool that's been sitting in our living room since February (he really hasn't had time at all, and I totally understand that...but now I'm a little excited about taking a bath in a big tub!).

Then this morning I got on the scale, and I've made it past the halfway mark! My goal is 160 lbs., but that might even be too low (time will tell). Anyway, this morning the scale said 208.4, and when I put that into my little chart (at the bottom of this page), it said I have 48.4 more lbs. to go. When I had surgery, I was 260.9, so that would have been 101 lbs. to lose. I'm more than half way in just three months! And I'm getting so close to "Onederland" - when you're under the 200 lb. mark and into the Ones. I haven't been there in probably coming up on 30 years. It's been 19 years since I've been this size.

Talking with Doug the other day I told him I made the -50 lb. mark, and I said "I don't know where the next 50 is gonna come from" and he said "Yeah, I was sorta thinking the same thing!" I am wearing 16s, and am very comfortable where my body's at right now, it blows me away thinking there's another 50 lbs. to come off somewhere.

Wig shopping??

Oh no, it might be time to go wig shopping! I keep watching the shower drain every day, and yesterday was scary!

I go for my 3-month checkup tomorrow. They say that around 3 months out from surgery most people start losing their hair, and it continues for 3 months, then will start growing back in.

Um, I don't have enough hair to last me for 3 months of losing it! That's scary! My hair is thin to begin with, and if I lose a bunch every day, it might take me a couple weeks and I'll be bald (or "bulbed" as Wesley used to say when he was little)!

Anyone know of a good wig shop in the Twin Cities? In a way it's sorta funny, I never in my life thought I might have to wear a wig, but even though I know that eventually in my older age my hair will be so thin you'll be able to see my scalp, I didn't think it would be so soon!

On a good note...I'm down just over 50 lbs. now since surgery. Yay!

Running?? Whaty wha??

I've had an urge to run lately. What's up with THAT?? It comes and goes and is so weird, I have to stop and think "where did that come from?" I am not and never have been a jogger, but it seems when I'm outside I just get this "you should RUN!" voice in my head that tells me to break out into a jog. And I have still been big time lacking in exercise, meaning I'm getting pretty much none.

I think maybe it's partly because my body is telling me that it would now be much easier to move, with 42 lbs. less of it to move around.

So, this morning I went for a jog!

LOL, ok, so I took the garbage can out to the road, and jogged back to the house!! So that's what...about a zillionth of a mile?! It felt good! So then I got on the treadmill and did a mile, walking though cause that stupid belt still slips and yikes, I don't wanna be at a full run when it slips. Still, I did it at 3 mph, so a 20-minute mile, which is pretty much where I always start when I start exercising again.

The scale hasn't been moving at all lately, and I know I need to exercise. I really do know it. I just gotta DO it. Just DO it. : ) I know I'm not taking in enough calories to support my weight without losing, so it must just be another one of those lovely stalls with the scale.

I even thought about joining the gym again and not telling the family, cause they'd want to go too and we just can't afford $100/month for everyone to go. It would work now while I'm off work, but when I go back, that would probably be the end of that too, and a waste of money. Sometimes I wish I lived closer to town so driving to something like a YOGA class wouldn't be such a time/gas issue too.

So I'm still figuring this all out. Guess that's how life goes though, isn't it?!